“I know everything about everything, yet I can't change my behavior.” - said Peter, a client in San Francisco, through gritted teeth.
I met his eyes and started nodding inadvertently. That was exactly how I felt before I started exploring the borders of my consciousness.
I am a recovering serial-startup-addict. I used to think that grinding through back-to-back-to-back 16-hour days, working for my own company was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
After all, coffee's for closers and laziness is for losers.
It turned out to be more complicated than that. Truth was I used never-ending work to feel worthwhile and distract me from the emotional baggage weighing me down. Had I a mantra at the time, it would have been: "I am so busy I have to move forward, I don't have time to feel, let alone feel bad.”
After 8 years in therapy I came to the same frustrating conclusion as Peter: I knew the exact history of my pathology, I could write a tome detailing my symptoms as well as my coping strategies, but as aware and rational as I was, I still could not change certain self-destructive patterns.
I could not open my heart to allow for meaningful connections. I sought out relationships where I was neglected by the other party. And the harder I worked, the louder my inner critic yelled at me. That I was lazy and slow----while in reality, I was on my third successful startup.
Fast forward 2 years: I have done more than 500 client session hours, I have been interviewed for a profile article in FORBES Hungary, and I was invited to be a contributing writer to FORBES.hu.
How did I get here?
From all the books I had to read for my PhD, books about neuroscience, consciousness and neuroplasticity I realized, that the way to behavior-change must lead through methods for exploring and expanding the borders of my consciousness. Rational, conscious understanding simply isn't enough.
So I ventured out and practiced the techniques and did the trainings that go beyond the conscious understanding to brought back a collection of the most effective ones for a leadership program.
After using these methods to successfully disarm self-destructive patterns of behaviors on myself, I am offering this in a 10-week program where I can help you literally change your mind so you can change your behavior.
Oh, and how I ended up on the cover of FORBES? That part was easy! They had a blue-box cover-shoot at their Budapest conference. A good friend and I took the opportunity to “strike a pose” :-)
Laszlo Karafiath, PhD